woke up took a shower i wasss gonna go to the mall but decided not to so
i went to my gmas for a family party which is still going on =]
michael cam overr my gmasss and we played ping pong and hung out.
it was awesomeee.
but of course he ruined the awesomenessss and we kinda got in a fite so he left but it
wasnt really a fight it was a disagreement.
but we talked it out and everything is perfect again<3.
then i went over my uncle tods for like an hour and hung wit him and brandon.
but uncle tod was going through withdraw so he was kinda being aassssholeee.
but not really.
so yeah so far thats my dayyy.
=]
that i could move far far away.
out of florida where no one knows me.
yes my life is pretty good right now.
buttt i just i want to start all overrr.
where nooooooooo oneeee knows me.
people just keep judging me by my past and i hate it.
people who i never talk to anymore still talk shit about me.
its like dude get the fuck over urself.
you think i sit there and talk about you um no i have a lifeeee i think that u should get one bitch.
my day was freakin great and u ALMOST ruined it.
but u didnt.
fuck offf.
but yeah i kinda wish that me and my ignorant father would move to kentucky.
with my family up there.
yes of course i know them.
but i like them unlike the people down here.
i seriously dont like hardly anyone.
paige and i guesss chris.
even though hes really getting on my damn nervess!
but everyone else i dont know were just fading from eachother.
ughhhh moving ruined everything!
i think that i resent my mother for kicking me out.
i think thats why i am so hateful towards her.
plus shes a dumb bitch.
w/eeeeeee.
i have to call michael back so byeeee.
the last few days have been really good.
at paiges i realized that there is no point on focusing on the past trying to make my old life come back.
bc its not.
right now i have a new life and i just need to deal with it.
i have friends.
maybe there not my old friends but they are friends.
i have a boyfriend who loves me.<3
and a family who although sometimes always drives me crazy there still always there for me.
i have two great best friends!
chris and paigey.
i should just appreciate what i have and stop bitching about what i don't.
i think life is gonna be a lot better.
=]
- Mood:
happy
that me and tori have grown apart.
that paige is so self centered.
that craig and me are well a disaster.
that me and my mother argue everytime we talk.
how moving ruined everything.
i go to a school that i hate.
all the people there is wanna have sex and do drugs and fight its so stupid.
and everyone is so self centered all they wanna do is talk about themself.
and torii oh geezzzz we were bestfriends for 4 years
she was there for me threw everything whenever i needed yo talk she was there even if we were argueing and now she has new friends.
and shd doesnt care if im alive or dead.
of at least thats how it seems.
she was like my only "true" friend.
or at least i thought.
i mean i guess she just grew up.
im happy that shes happy.
but me,
im not happy at all.
the people who used to make me happy just dont.
and chris we keep fighting over dumb shit and now hes moving.
i try to get closer to tori but im kinda just over it.
if she doesnt want to be friends then k thats great im done trying.
thats all i do i try to make paigey happy i try to become closer wit tori im trying to always hang wit chris so he wont bitch at me and then i have to pay attention to micahel or he will bitch about how much shit he does for me and i cant even cll him back and blah blahb albhvfjksndal& (*&$@)*UV+*R + i mean were not even datinggg.
im just done wit trying to make people happy when they dont even giveee a shittttttttttttt.
im just done with it.
i was just trying to make it threw freshman year so i could go back to palmetto and everything would go back to normal... well im most likely not going back to palmetto and even if i did nothing would be the same.
well im done bitching about people who dont give a damn about me.
going to circle k.
byeee.
grrr.
was super duper fun.
i was surprised!
i went to the fair with tori.
and i saw like a bunch of old friends.
and we hung out with zack sean ben anthony devon and we saw aaron who was drunk as hell ha.
and some other people.
it was really fun!
and t/m paige is comeing over and were gonna burn ha.
were gonna go to mojo jojo's and stuff.
and hang with zack so it will actually be a fun weekend.
i just got home it's 12:02am.
im tired.
goodnight.
chris i love you!!
good friends.
well i woke up late again!
and almost didnt make it to the bus stop.
bbblllaahhhh-school.
i am now at home watching t.v
and i need to pack because im going to my mothers for the weekend.
ehhhgkfhsdkn&Z*&#%_).
well ill probably hang with mojojo and krystal so it will be ok.
and i want to hang out with zack!!
i talked to him a couple days ago.
=]
well ill update later.
goodbye.
this sucks. i thought i moved on.
i though i was finally over it.
i thought that maybe for once we could just be friends.
i thought that we could pretend that nothing ever happened between us.
i thought you were done with me.
i thought i was done with you.
i thought that me and you was a mistake.
i thought that we were not meant to be together.
i thought our feeling's for eachother disappeared.
but i guess i thought wrong.
p.s.
my father is driving me insane!!
him and my grama think im fucking depressed.
fuckk!!
im gonna shoot someone.
so much shit is going on right now.
i hate it.
i want all of it to end and for it to be summer.
- Mood:
curious
Today was good i guess.
I woke up late though.
So i looked and felt like shit!
but yeah so algebra is so lame.
Mr. Turco wouldn't let me and Tarah work together because we would
"disturb the class".
whateverer!
Lunch was lame also.
Musical Theatre was amazing as usual.
Summer amuses me so much [laughing].
"She has a hole in her pants!"
"Vagina!"
Anywhat, i just got back from Chris's house.
[pause].
It was intersting.
[smileing].
[giggle giggle].
Weekend=
Tomorrow I'm going over Jen's dad's house.
Were gonna chill.
=]
Because were awesome.
Then Saturday I think I'm going to the beach with family.
Yeah i know.
But I think It will be fun if my Uncle Tod goes.
=p
so yeah well I'll update later.
Goodbye.
- Mood: cheerful
i went to school and then felt sick
so i called mamal and she picked me up.
shes awesome!
i didnt even have to ask i called her and she was like what's the matter?
and i was like i don't feel good and she goes oh ok well i'll come pick you up.
so yeah i went to her house and slept for a few hours and then watched the movie
"across the universe".
then came home and took a shower and went to chris's.
that was very very very very interesting!!
wow.
ok well i guess i'll see what happens t/m at school.
goodness!
well im gonna watch some t.v. and try to push myself to do algebra homework.
goodbye.
today did suck.
dumb whores.
asshole guys.
fagget teachers.
fake friends.
but i'm just happy to be alive.
i watched the movie "in the land of women"
it was cute!
i love the crazy grandmother ha.
i'm about to leave and go the movie store to rent "across the universe".
iv'e bin dieing to see that movie fo rmonths!
well i have to go.
maybe i'll update later if anything exciteing happens.
i doubt it.
- Mood:
bitchy
today
is
going
to
suck.
watched "the notebook"
for the 2cd time in two days.
found out my boyfriend knocked up ashley.
ex boyfriend w/e.
i failed algebra 1st semester.
chris is being an asshole.
get over her.
she's a bitch who dumped you.
///sorry for being so harsh.
im tired of getting dumped or cheated on because i'm not a freakin whore like
the other girls at estero.
mother=sycho.
out to ruin my life
dad=self centered asshole.
friends///suck.
life blah.
i watched it for the first time yesterday and i could not stop crying!
but it was a good cry.
what they had was true love and even though at times people stood in there way in the end there love took over eachother and they ended up being together till the day they died.
it was the cutest, sweetest movie i have ever seen.
even talking about it makes me tear up.
a summer love was an understatement.
i hope veryone in this world get's to experience what they did;LOVE.
including myself.
ive never seen a movie that has moved me so much.
i can't believe that Noah wrote her 365 letters!
every day for a year!
and i can't belive how Allie's mother kept them from her!
i know she was just trying to do the right thing but Allie had to make her own decision.
adn she did!
i am so happy they ended up together.
the 10 minutes after they got out of the boat in the pouring rain was my favorite part of the movie.
when Allie asked why didn't he write and he explained and then told her he still loved her and then kissed and....etc. ha.
i hope i get to have "love" like they did.
well im going to lame freakin school.
bye.
- waiting for you to text me back or call me when you say you will.
im done hoping that we will get together.
im done fantisizeing.
im done lieing to myself.
im done with you.
we have nothing in common and
obviously,
we are not meant to be together.
well at least right now.
so im done trying to get with you.
i'm gonna except that were "friends".
and im ok with that.
=]
- Mood: happy
since i was like 11
ive acted like a total bitch!
ive led guys on and then dropped
then when i found someone better.
and today i expierienced how leading someone on and then
decideing that you dont want a boyfriend_or_girlfriend
can really hurt someone.
from now on i am going to try to consider other people's feelings more.
i am so confused i don't know what to do with myself.
i think everything will turn out ok.
Or at least im hoping it will.
well i am going for a walk with christopher.
i will write more later.
goodbye.
so conclusion of my day.
1st period was fun.
2cd period was fun.
we colored.
3rd period was cool.
ozzie=awesome.
4rth period was lame with no tarah.
and i am going to fail the quiz t/m.
5th period was lame.
lunch was dumb.
b/c i was surrounded by dumb people.
besides jen.
6th period was fun!
i played football woo woo!
7th period was amazing as usual.
ily summer.
but yeah then i came home and talked to tyler.
hung with chris.
and talked to tori.
i am very bored!
and i should be doing my algebra hmwrk.
and i didnt but ill do it in 2cd period.
well i am getting off and going to sleep.
goodnight.
- Mood:
tired
you dont tell me anyhthing and you expect me to
tell you what's going on in my life.
it's ur buisness and i respect that but i
dont appreciate you bitching at me for not
filling you in on my life when i know nothing about yours.
i doubt ull read this but if you do im not mad or anything [not that you care ha].
i was just stateing my opinion.
- Mood: amused
was like ok i guess.
like it started lame b/c i woke up late but the rest of the day was ok.
then i had a little conversation with a cheating jerk...
that went ok but ur still a fag!
my daddy says im grounded for the weekend and i have no computer for a week b/c im gettin
2 "F's" on my report card.
i guess the punishment really isnt that awful.
way way better then what m mom would have done:
no phone,tv,computer,life for probably till interims.
well im bored.
i think i will take a walk.
goodbye.
- Mood:
okay
its funny how the littlest thing can change your mood in a matter of seconds.
=]
Ok i started a "live journal" hoping that i will be able to deal with my feelings and emotions and shit....
So today was like super duper lame.
I feel so alone.
I was so tired this morning b/c I did not sleep half the fucking night.
I had the worst dream I woke up scared out of my mind and almost in tears.
Then i go to school; and it fucking sucked.
I was hoping lunch would be better and it was but it still fucking sucked.
My emotions are getting out of control.
And it's seriously scaring me.
I have so many different feelings
I don't know what to do with myself.
I feel like I can't trust anyone
I feel used and played and betrayed
& scared.
I feel impatient.
But then I think about....
and I feel happy but also sad.
Being moody is an understatement.
I’m hoping everything will get better.
Chris is one his way over.
Were going to hang and watch TV.
he usually can make me feel better.
Goodbye.
- Mood: frustrated
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